picking up the pieces

I know, I said three weeks. Now, I'm on my third week but haven't pick up any pieces.

Again, I know, it's all my fault. haha. too lazy as always.

Yeah right, I think I'm on my way to my recovery now, since I had three long weeks of drama and vulnerability from everything that happened.

I am now starting to listen to other songs besides I Stay in Love with You by Mariah Carey...hahaha my sister was very annoyed for the past weeks of hearing that song over and over again... but last Monday, I started to listen to other songs....

Tuesday, I am so decided that I'll go out but not just to have lunch or meet friends but actually to look for a job... But, come on when I woke up Tuesday morning, it's raining cats and dogs....hahaha I don't know if it's a sign or something but I really really hate going out when it's raining. so there, first time since I move out of work, I stayed at home the whole day.

Wednesday, I woke up really early, get dressed and when I saw my sister she said, they don't have classes that day... Oh come on, another temptation... She said, we shall just watch Sundo which opened that day... So, the ending, yeah right changed clothes to casual and go straight to the mall and watch Sundo. hahaha and shop all day.

Today, I gave up, I'll just postpone my job hunting to next week. I swear to look for a job next week. I swear by my own magaw.... hahhahaa

poker face

Sometimes, it's hard to distinguish a smile from an ordinary smile. I mean, how would you know if the smile is special if the person is smiling to everyone else.

Hay. That's always been my dilemma.

People know me as a not so friendly individual, and that fact actually makes me easier to read... I smile at you then I like you as a person. Blank eyes then I don't like you. That's it. I say you're my favorite if you are.... Some of my crew is like that as well, but I think many of them are actually the opposite.

Haha, I respect them the way they are but sometimes I can't help but wonder, " why does he/she needs to be friendly to all people even if they are not really close?" So, how would I discover if a person is special to him/her or not? How would I know if he/she is telling the truth when he/she says I'm his/her favorite if he/she has the tendency to say it to others as well?

Hay. But you know, I love to discover different people's attitude. I feel like it's a big accomplishment once I learned how to distinguish their smiles.

I love reading people's minds and eventually learn what they think even if they are not talking.

Friends tell me, "sometimes you have to smile just for the mere fact of smiling."

I say, "I don't have to let others think that I like them because I'm smiling at them"

Then they dig in "It's not necessary to let them know what you're thinking all the time. Sometimes you need to wear a poker face"

May be I need to do that from now on. Yeah I'll do that. Coz, most of the times, people misinterpret the blankness of the face as "harder to read" when actually it means just it is--- blank, no feeling or anything. Whereas smile, in the real world, is often if not all the time considered as an act of friendliness when the real deal is it's much harder to decode as everyone can smile at you without meaning it.


Now, yeah right, I'm smiling.

princess and frogs

Talking about frogs, here's a really cool song.... I love the lyrics, specially coming from a guy....

Princess and Frogs
Superchick

you hate men is what you say
and i understand how you feel that way
all girls dream of a fairytale
but what you got's like a used car sales
man, trying to conceal what's wrong
behind a smile and a song
and i'm not saying that boys are not like that
but i think you should know
that some of us will grow
because...

all princes start as frogs
all gentleman as dogs
just wait till it's plain to see
what we're growing up to be..
coz some frogs will still be frogs
some dogs will still be dogs
but some boys can become men
just don't kiss us till then


oh come on! how cool is that? Well, I still believe that I'll meet the right frog for me.

finding the right frog

I used to call 'em frogs.... and sadly they remained frogs.

I've known so many frogs now, hoping each time that one day they'll eventually evolve into something cuter than frog....hahahaha but sadly, I haven't found the right frog for me.

Few months ago, I saw a book Finding the right Frog.... I didn't buy it because I thought I don't really have to. But, now, my friend Jen, said she gonna lend me her "Finding the right Frog" book... and that made me realize, "oh yeah I am wishing so badly to find the right frog for me" ......


...and I wish to meet him soon.

Summer breeze

I used to love Summer but I don't think I have enough enthusiasm this time around to rejoice the season.....


Last night, I was like telling my sister, oh I miss rainy season... and she was like "woah ate, may sakit ka ba? you love summer so much right?" and yeah right I do, I mean I used to. I mean, I would always be the first one to rejoice once it's summer time.... No school, no rain, no wet soil.... Then, my favorite parts; the beach but not swimming pools as I'm not a fan of chlorine... well, the shades, the fruit shakes, the ice cream, woah the sun that always seem to invite people to go out and have fun.... In short, summer is happy for me.

But this time around that summer is very near-approaching, I don't feel the same. Sigh. I know it's weird....

breaking the habit

As everyone knows, yesterday was my last day at Nuffnang. I'm sad. I'm gonna miss everyone. I'm sad that I wasn't able to say goodbye to everyone in MY and SG. No matter how I wanted, I felt it's kinda awkward if I send a mass mail to them saying, 'I'm gonna leave folks since I know that my boss doesn't like me'.... hah! that was hard but ofcourse I didn't do it to protect "my boss", I never intended to create buzz or anything about me leaving. I'm gonna leave , and so be it. See? I'm a fair person, and I know how to respect.

So, today, first day of my life without Nuffnang. This morning, my eyes were trying hard to open around 8am, the usual time I wake up for work, but I fought it and told myself "you can sleep longer, no work today!" But damn it, the eyes are just so stubborn at didn't want to sleep anymore.

Now, I'm online, talking to people from work.....haaaaaaaaa!!!! I feel like crying actually! It's like the habit is so hard to break. My computer screen is full of ym chats of people from the office not to mention that while typing this entry, Janelle called. Grrr. this is gonna be hard!

One day, and I'm missing them so badly! sigh. I don't have enough strength now to fight the feeling.

Yet another goodbye..

Seven months ago, I decided to look for a job wherein I could stay for years. A job that I would like... A job that I would believe in. Then, Nuffnang came.

I always say I believe in Nuffnang. Three months have passed without me noticing it, considering the fact that I have this 3-month syndrome. From then, I realized, I am actually enjoying the work. Then, 6th month came, the turning point. All my hopes of staying atleast a year in a company was vanished. I am a loyal person, specially to things, to people that I love. But, if I see something wrong or I was wronged, I cannot do anything but move on and move out.

I'm sad about leaving. I'm gonna miss the people here in the office.... Mark, Roanna, Fitz, -members of our team who I believe were all true people, The AE's of Outcomm, not only my favorite Janelle, but all of them, Apple, Ms.Carol, Mina, Prue, Cyrus, Sir Joseph, Sir Troy, who is always smiling... ahaha I know I so love them,what can I do? haha. I'm gonna miss Lorna, the ever-reliable Lorna, the newbie, Paulo, the messengers who always buy me food once I can't go out... Kuya Luigi(haha) and everyone else.... Hay. I'm gonna miss them for sure.

This is why I hate goodbyes. Missing people that became part of my everyday routine really makes me sad.

But, come on there's no goodbyes really, for sure, we'll cross our paths again. Yeah right!

I don't want to make this entry more mushy, it might cause the tears, and I can't.

One thing for sure, no matter what has been the outcome, I'm not regretting anything as I believe, this taught me a very important lesson.