as expected

i am a friend, no i am such a loyal friend.

okay, that's very self-absorbed statement.... but, some times I am really forced to think like this, why is it always have to be me who have to be A FRIEND? is it too much to ask if for once they think about me more than I think about them?

in my state of mind today, it's very unfair.


Usually, I don't think about these things because for one I don't believe that I am doing good things to others so they do the same to me..... I don't expect anything in return of the favor I gave. It's quite ironic because my motto in life is what goes around comes back around, but I swear if I do good I don't expect something in return. Lastly, once you're my friend, no matter what I am your friend, til the end, through heaven or hell.

But, these days, a good friend's attitude is bugging me.... I swear I was such a good friend to her specially on those days that she's really in need. I mean every help you could think of I gave to her, emotionally, financially, spiritually, even my presence was always present literally. I treated her problems as my own, as in I was the one who cannot sleep at night thinking how we can solve it........

And, now, that her problems was over, I feel so different. I feel she's lying to me............ and one time I really caught her lying but on the act, she said the truth.... You know that, it's hard because you cannot tell right into her face that she's lying because when you asked her she told the truth.

Then, last time, I asked her a favor and easily she said yes. So, with that my trust are coming back not until yesterday. The favor supposed to be today, but yesterday, she was asking me a favor but I really can't, it's not that I don't want to but I just really can't...... She knows very well that if I can there's no way I will not grant her the favor.... I expected that since I didn't grant her the favor she's asking , she will not grant the favor she has already promised. Finally, this morning she said she can't do me the favor coz blah blah reasons I didn't want to hear.......


It's just sad that she'll do that to me, what she'll say what goes around comes back around??? but hey how about the tons and tons of favors I did for her? I am not making sumbat or anything that's why I didn't reply na lang when she said she can't...... but, it's just so hard to accept the truth. It's so hard that I am losing my trust to the person I've treated a friend. I just wish time will just erase all my doubts, maybe one day I can give her back the trust that once belonged to her.